Jokes

Doctor noticed the lice on the patient hair:

• Do you know that you have lice?
• Yes, I do.
• What kind of treatment do you do in this regard?
• Nothing, they are not ill!

• Doctor, I have a terrible hair loss!
• It’s because you have so much of tension!
• But I have tension only because of hair loss!

• Doctor, why did you tell me to show you my tongue? I am sitting with my tongue out quite for some time and you even did not look at my side?
• It’s easier for me to study the history of your disease in silence.

• I am afraid you should give up smoking, drinking and having sex…
• But I am a man, doctor!
• You may go on shaving…
  
• A male patient came into the physician office. A lady doctor had a sore throat and could not talk, so she just whispered:
• Take off your clothes.
• And you? - Whispered patient in reply.
  
  
• Hello, can I take an appointment to see a doctor?
• Yes, you can, but the doctor doesn't have time for appointments for the coming six months.
• Oh! And… how do the people know what problem they will have after 6 months?
  
• I am sorry that I made you wait for me for so long.
• It’s ok, just it’s pity you didn’t catch my disease on the earlier stage…
  
• Do you smoke?
• No.
• Pity, otherwise I could advise to you to give it up, and promiss that you would feel better.
  
• Breath... deeper... Now cough... You know, I don’t like your cough…
• I am sorry, doc, but I don’t have another one…
  
  
• These are the sleeping pills for 6 days.
• But I don’t want to sleep for so long!
  
  

The woman looks into the door of the gynecologist:

• Haven’t I left my underwear in here?
• No!
• Sorry. It means it’s at dantist’s!

• Doctor, I have dreams in English language.
• So what?
• The problem is that I don’t know English at all!
• What can I advise to you? Learn English!
• After a month the doctor meets the same person and he looks very happy:
• How do you do? Have you learnt English?
• No, but I sleep with the girl-interperetor!
  
  
• Doctor, what should I use if I have a splitting headache?
• Glue.
  
  

Mother and her very beautifull daughter come into the doctor’s office:

• Take off your clothes, I'll check your chest, said the doctor looking at the girl.
• My daughter is all right, it’s I am who is sick.
• Oh, then show me your tongue.
  
  
• A boxer complains for insomnia.
• It’s very easy, just start counting 1,2,3,4..
• It won't work, doc. When it comes to 9 I just jump up!
  
  
• Do you have a good night sleep?
• Yes, it's wonderful!
• What do you do?
• I am a night guard.
  
  
• I think you have a better cough today.
• Sure, I have been practicing the whole night.
  
  
• I have a terrible pain in my right leg.
• What is your age?
• I am 65.
• So it’s just an age…
• But my left leg is as old as my right one.

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